In times where the divorce rate is as high as 75% - that's a whopping 3 in every 4 marriages failing - the fact that Premarital Counselling helps is wonderful news. Build a solid foundation for a fabulous relationship that can really stand the test of time.
Premarital counselling is one of my favorite areas! As a woman, mother and wife who struggled for years through a number of tough times and raising a large family, I dearly want for you to be successful and to find more joy along the way. As a counsellor I find it uplifting to work with couples who are planning a life together. It's an honor to be trusted to help pave the way for their success.
This time in a relationship is exciting to me because I now realize the impossibility of assuming that 'love can overcome anything'. Marriage and family is sacred to me and working with new couples is very rewarding.
Being in love helps spark a marriage. For sure... In fact, it's pretty essential? But kindness, decent behaviour, respect and, above all, good communication skills are absolutely essential. Premarital counselling makes a huge difference to the success of a marriage - it's amazing to me that I stayed married for as long as I did without it!
Premarital counselling is often much shorter than regular marriage counselling, once problems have become established. Often we're looking at the 'theories' behind possible future difficulties in relationships. Rather than problems that have already built up over the years.
It's easier for couples to listen to and understand the 'theory' at this stage because they aren't already defending against what they see as 'someone's fault' or what someone else may be trying to 'make them' do. It helps that the couple's romantic love and the 'newness' of the relationship makes this work fun and motivation for success is high!
At first, a counsellor is usually getting to know a little bit about the two individuals who are planning to marry. This is an opportunity to share some Imago-style ideas and some of the most powerful communication tools imaginable: NVC - aka non violent communication or compassionate communication - the Language of Life.
The balance of the sessions customize and share NVC and Imago theory with each couple - and to see if and where there might be any problems stemming from childhood that we can focus on and help debrief. Usually couples can tackle most of these issues themselves once they have mastered the tools we can share with them.
With better understanding of the patterns that have already been noticed - and suffered through - by others before them, whose marriages have encountered stormy seas or even the divorce courts, these couples have a much higher rate of success in their relationships than 'average'.
And in times where the divorce rate is as high as 75% - 3 in every 4 marriages failing - this is wonderful news.