All Posts

SOTA Blood Purifier

SOTA Blood Purifier, Silver Pulser Zapper

How can you rise above all the issues facing you right now if you are constantly sick? I can face colds, flu and infections with confidence with my SOTA zapper. The technology is simple and I would love for it to help you to keep healthy too - it's so much easier to deal with life when you are feeling well.

For 21 months it kept me completely well even when I am with friends and clients who are unwell. And I discover that many other people who use these silver pulsers have similar experiences. They really work! Read more about how it makes a difference to real lives. Once you are part of the Sota Community you can read many similar stories to this one.

For several years I've worked with a sweetheart of a man - Humphrey - who wears one of these devices at work several times a week for an hour. I thought this was just one of his quirkinesses! In fact I didn't really believe such a simple thing could really make a difference and I scoffed at it! I was so wrong.

Survivors of major physical trauma suffer with exhaustion at the drop of a hat - almost without exception. One day, when I had been exhausted for what seemed like forever and I kept getting colds and infections and had to go to the doctor repeatedly, Humphrey mentioned that he hadn't been sick for years. Luckily I heard him and I finally asked him about his 'gadget' and started to find out about electronic blood purification. Many supplements, vitamins and exercise help but none more so than the zapper. If I had to choose just one thing to use from now on, I would choose one of these devices. If you decide to join me, you are welcome to use the ReBuildingYou code: CA50333 and get a 10% discount!

This little gadget is one of the most effective things I've had the good luck to come across. I can't believe that I didn't listen to Humphrey earlier. I guess there are so many demands on our attention and we become burned out. However, if you can spare me a few moments of your time, I would like to share the news so that you can benefit too. By sharing what we discover, we can help each other to ReBuild our lives much more quickly and successfully than we could ever hope to do alone. ReBuildingYou clients get 10% off when using this code at SOTA: CA50333 or CLICK HERE to order.

Here's the story behind my using the SOTA - you can also see how it has affected the lives of other people by clicking here...

First of all, some background so that this story makes sense. Every human body has quite a bit of 'gunk' circulating in the blood at any one time. By gunk I mean viruses, bacteria, fungi and other parasites. A healthy body and immune system can easily manage this extra load and keep it under control. Most of the time. Until we get run down...

However, ReBuilding your life from any kind of trauma is already asking your body and immune system to work at maximum output. After all, only a maximum effort will let you slowly pull yourself back up to a life that is satisfying to you. Exhausting. Something any ReBuilder can testify to. Any extra load is just too much and the result is exhaustion, candida (aka yeast or thrush), colds and sore throats, minor cuts that won't heal, more serious infections. This is similar to the general 'unwellness' and the being 'run down' which follows most illnesses.

The body and mind can perform miracles - without a doubt. If we let them. They can move you far beyond what traditional medicine can do. My doctors told me I would never walk again, let alone be able to work. Thankfully they were wrong. Mind over matter will triumph almost every time. With support... Although our own body is the most amazing healer it needs every bit of help it can get to try and level the playing field when it's working full-tilt. That's where this little gadget comes in.

Every ten minutes or so, most of your blood makes a complete circuit of the body: it passes by every pulse point once in 10 minutes. The zapper (SOTA silver pulser) affixes over one of your pairs of pulse points - say the radial and ular arteries of your right wrist - and zaps your blood as it courses through your veins underneath the skin. This electrical current is completely harmless - except to the microscopic organisms enjoying a free ride and often wreaking havoc in our blood. In fact stimulation with certain electricity and magnetic fields has been shown to energize and increase health, regardless of the effect on the freeloaders.

Ordinarily our immune systems seek out and attack/control viruses, bacteria, yeasts, parasites and any other invaders in the body. That's a major part of their job. However when we've been sick and/or stressed for any length of time, the immune system becomes sluggish and exhausted.

silver-pulser-kit I love the fact that the SOTA blood purifier is totally non invasive. There is no medication. No nasty side effects. This gadget is completely side-effect-free! We only need to wear this gadget for about an hour at a time. Actually I use it every 2 - 5 days when I'm feeling well and if I sense a cold coming (or other 'bug') I use it more often. There are various 'protocols' recommended for various serious conditions like cancer and AIDS - ranging from 20 minutes a day. In fact the improvement to the health of AIDS patients is comparable and even better than with some of the most up to date and expensive drugs. Rather than worry about which protocol is best, I think it's important to 'just use it'. Over time you will adjust your use to what is most effective for you - many of the exact protocols are very similar. When I feel my neck glands starting to ache and swell, I make sure and use the SOTA for at least an hour and when I wake up next morning, I'm well. Preferably you would do it every couple of days and avoid any symtptoms at all (I'm afraid I sometimes forget!).

There have been reports of Herzheimers effect (caused by the dying off of a large amount of toxins) making you feel flu-like after the first few uses - and this may be true depending on your individual state of health and disease. If you do experience a Herzheimer effect, it will disappear after a few days, when the sudden increase in toxins leaving the body has regularized again. Personally I didn't have a problem and I felt slightly better after the very first use - I expect your reaction will vary.

After 17 months (in March 2010), I got overconfident and reduced the time I used it to once or twice a week for an hour. I had also started to doubt that it was the zapper that was keeping me well: I thought I was just healtheir. There was a particularly nasty bug around and many of my friends caught it. They were sick for days and missed work, some for as long as a week or more. For the first time in nearly a year and a half, I also caught this bug. The zapper seems very efficient at keeping bugs at bay but when you are full of bugs, it's difficult to get rid of them all. However, using my zapper for 2 or 3 hours every day for a few days kept me only mildly sick and I didn't lose a single day of work. So it can also make viruses and infections much less severe. In the morning I would wake up feeling sinussy and achy but after an hour of zapping each morning, I felt OK. Not brilliant. But OK. At bedtime I would use my SOTA again for an hour or two. Four days later I was fine again. I will use my zapper regularly from now on.

How To Use the Silver Pulser Blood Purifier

The SOTA consists of two little silver bars/electrodes that you slip into white cotton sleeves and put them over your pulse points in your wrist. These electrodes are moistened with salty water - the concentration of salt is not too important and the cotton should be just moist and not dripping wet. There is a black neoprene wrist strap that you then fasten over the electrodes with velcro. If the band itself gets wet, the electrodes can sting and so I blot the electrodes before I affix them. Following these instructions is important: you must use the cotton sleeves and to avoid tingling/stinging skin you have to moisten the cotton with salt water but not wet the skin or the neoprene band between the electrodes. It's also important to get the electrodes in exactly the right place by adjusting them as necessary while they're in place. Zapping should never sting although you can feel the electricity pulsing under the neoprene band.

The next step is simple... You turn on the small handset, attached to the electrodes by wires, and turn up the dial until you can feel the pulsing current. If the electrodes sting at all, turn down the current and move the electrodes until they are comfortable. When they are in the right spot, the electrodes do not hurt or sting and it's important to find 'the right spot' - however your fingers might twitch! This does not hurt at all when done properly, although it is common for the wrist to be a little red immediately after use (this goes away and you can use aloe gel to soothe and moisturize the skin if you wish).

Once the device is turned on, I put the handset into a pocket and carry on with whatever activity I'm doing. If I'm typing sometimes I have to turn down the dial because my fingers twitch and keep typing the wrong letters!

Before I used the SOTA, I caught every bug around and was sick at the drop of a hat. I also felt exhausted on a daily basis. Since using this gadget I have not had a single cold or sore throat - and I'm talking nearly 17 months here and despite sitting in a car with the windows closed (it was raining and cold) with my son who had a terrible cold. My best friend and her family had the H1N1 virus and I spent time with them but stayed well. According to my doctor and to my blood tests, I am also particularly vulnerable to illness. However... My doctor is amazed - and I am delighted - that I stay so well!

With the SOTA Silver Pulser my body is free to concentrate its resources and precious energy on healing, ReBuilding and staying fit.

I was only able to find a limited amount of good information about gadgets similar to this - Dr Bob Beck had done a lot of work on it and had nothing but positive things to say. One study was with AIDS patients who remained well and symptom free without expensive drugs. It's also used for cancer patients and to restore health. There were also some interesting studies of a much larger - and successful - German machine but it seem these studies must have been done before the internet. Dr Hulda Clark also has a zapper - it looks less user friendly. And this is important because to be effective, you need to be able to use this with ease regularly. It also looks more complicated and I have learned that the technical details with zappers are very much less important - luckily so, because its simplicity is one of the reasons its so user friendly. However, I will try out one of these zappers as soon as possible and report on it here.

Continuing with traditional medicine is a 'must' (only your doctor can tell you when you can reduce treatment) and concurrent physiotherapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, acupuncture – and several other therapies and devices - are also strongly recommended.

The following books are about new technology and health (including the silver pulser). The Oxygen Revolution: Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy: The books are 'When Technology Fails; The Natural Way to Heal and 60 Ways To Create Superior Health; The Oxygen Revolution: Groundbreaking New Treatment for Stroke, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Arthritis, Autism, Learning Disabilities and More by Paul Harch and may well be of interest to complement your interest in silver pulser technology and health:

What I Mean Is…

Adult Speech Therapy Book

At Last! Unique Adult Speech Therapy Books - use it with your own therapists, nurse or caregiver.

I can't say enough good things about this series of wonderful speech therapy books for adults who are higher functioning (but still need help) after their brain injury.

"What I Mean Is..." has been written by a qualified and innovative speech pathologist who sees patients every day that need this kind of help: help that until now wasn't available. Hilary, along with her colleague Anita Kess, has successfully created and designed exercises that help put our language 'back together' again. All the pieces of our language are there, waiting... Waiting for this!

There are 2 books in the series for mild to moderate level language challenges - sometimes known as BRAIN FOG. And one book for more seriously affected asphasic patients. All of these books can be used by you - together with your local speech therapist. Your visitors, partner and the nurses in your own rehabilitation program can also use this book with you. Using "What I Mean Is..." results in a significantly higher level of satisfaction and reduced level of frustration in your daily use of language and in your own ReBuilding process.

1. "What I Mean Is..." - A Structured Program to Improve Mild to Moderate Word Retrieval/Fluency Problems (3rd edition) by Hilary J Dibben BSc MSc S-LP(C) and Anita Kess BA MA Dip App Ling

This practical workbook includes hundreds of exercises and increases language flexibility and improves word retrieval for higher functioning clients, using a variety of approaches including categorizing words, synonyms, homonyms, analogies and so much more.

"What I Mean Is..." is now available in the ReBuildingYou MarketPlace. Click on any of the LuLu links and just a couple of days later your book will arrive - as shown here by my grandson Cobe! It was well packaged - almost undamageable - and so quick. Great service!

The technical name for those the book was written for (and I am part of this group) is the "higher functioning speech impaired" and we fall through the cracks when it comes to our need for speech therapy. Yes we can form words and ask for our basic needs. But we can't fully express all the thoughts in our minds. We're always 'losing' words and having trouble remembering exactly how to say what we want. We also say things we can't believe we said! Hence the title of this great new book!

With help we can get better (I have and so have other friends I know who were clients of Hilary's) and there is hope that we can express ourselves as fully as we did before. However... We need help to re-file the thousands of bits of information that have been exploded everywhere by our brain injuries.

As Hilary once said "Imagine a large bookcase, full of neatly filed papers... Then knock it over. There are papers all over the place - and those papers are pieces of your language. What I'm going to do is help you pick them up and refile them." And whilst that help has never been available before, it is now. If your hospital or neuro-rehab program doesn't have help available for higher-functioning patients, they too can use this book and we would be delighted to talk to them, should they wish.

Hilary Dibben wrote "What I Mean Is" because there was nothing else available - no other text book or workbook (other than for young kids) out there to help the thousands of us who can speak... But who are unable to express themselves in a way that is satisfying and meaningful to them. This book is the answer we've been waiting for.

"What I Mean Is..." started out as a collection of worksheets and gradually grew from there. The development of this book was completely in step with:

* the needs of the client and
* what worked.
Simple but brilliant. The perfect work-book for me, the client - and it works.

This book can be used directly by clients with some help from either their own speech therapist, an occupational therapist or other rehabilitation therapist, a nurse or loved one/caregiver. If you have suffered a stroke, chemobrain or any another sort of brain injury and need help expressing yourself fully and with ease, this book is for you. This book works best when there is a non-injured person working with the client - although I admit that I worked on parts of this book in the waiting room with the other brain injured patients in my group! That was great fun - we would catch each other out making mistakes!

I love this book! It's the one - or the contents are similar anyway - to the one I used myself in neuro-rehab at my local hospital.

I had no idea that I needed language therapy. In fact I was horrified at first when it was suggested! I knew secretly that I had difficulties but I thought they didn't show. And I was happy to ignore them. Everyone else seemed to think I was 'fine'. Before this recent round of rehab, no-one had even suggested that I seek speech therapy. I had spent nearly 20 years silently having trouble - struggling. Praying that no-one would notice. However speech therapy was part of this neuro-rehab package and not wanting to miss any potential improvements - I went to my first session. I took a simple test, to give Hilary an idea of my abilities - which I thought I would ace! I was shocked. I had no idea of the extent of my problem and it was my brain. Here was a woman who knew what was going on inside my head when even I didn't! I was speechless. As I realized how much difference this therapy made, I couldn't get ahead quickly enough.

The exercises here in "What I Mean Is..." seem simple. In reality they are very powerful. I've always been able to write my thoughts down - now I can speak my thoughts too. And I can now see clearly what my difficulties are - which is the first step to healing and real improvement. Now I know what it is I need to re-learn. And how to do it.

Here is a picture of Hilary (far right), Anita (blonde), me Julie (white blouse) and our publishing editor Marilyn at a restaurant celebrating the completion of the project.

Words and language are such a vital and important part of 'me' - being able to express myself fully was such an important part of my recovery. Thank you Hilary, from the bottom of my heart.

I wanted to check out the company - www.Lulu.com - that's fulfilling the orders for the book and make sure they are 100% reliable and that your credit card details will be safe. It gives me great pleasure to tell you that I have been blown away by their integrity and professionalism. Ordering the book was easy and quick and just over a week later (they sent me 2 emails meantime to let me know where they were in the fulfillment process) I received my book. As you can see from the pictures on this page the book arrived in a cardboard package, firmly sealed inside in a protective bubble. Quick, easy, safe, very professional.

I will happily publish and factor in the ratings of every reviewer of these powerful speech therapy books for adults, as soon as I get that feedback. ORDER! your books now. And please let me know how you find them.

2. "Are You Listening" (not yet available, except by written request - come on Hilary! Shall we do an audio version?)

To hone listening, verbal working memory, and speed of auditory processing skills this book uses practical auditory exercises like verbal reasoning, oral directions, shapes and numbers, directed drawings, riddles, analogies and maps.
by Hilary Dibben BSc MSc S-LP(C)

This book will be coming later in 2010 (we hope). Become a subscriber to ReBuildingYou and read in the VillageCrier newsletter (first issue coming out soon) the moment these books are available.

3. This book for those with more difficult speech and language problems, "The Barrier Book" by Hilary Dibben BSc MSc L-LP(C), is a series of thought provoking exercises to encourage and enable the aphasic to communicate more clearly with those around him.

The very thing higher functioning clients are unable to do is to express clearly what they need - which is kind of obvious? Someone else has to point out what they can't do. (No-one could easily see it in themselves.) Honesty - not criticism though! - is needed please - and maybe that comes best from a therapist? Help is at hand. As more patients are helped we must make a loud chorus of appreciation - and a demand for the help we now know we need. Only then will the Health Authorities and Medical Insurance Companies understand and provide for this need.
These excellent speech therapy books for adults are unique and hot off the press and are available only through ReBuildingYou.
Reaching clients through other therapists proved just too difficult. But with the help of the internet, I'm hoping that this will change! We need you to forward this information on to your friends who might benefit from these books. If you are a therapist, please order a copy or two for your clinic. Librarians please make this book available in your public libraries. Family doctors please know that this book is available - and if you even suspect that speech difficulties might be experienced by your patient, recommend this book (and ask libraries to carry it...)

Clients and caregivers can now learn about these books on the internet and ask their speech therapists about them. And no-one would be happier than the professionals in the rehabilitation field to be able to help higher functioning patients with language needs to reach their potential - once they realise that this is a need. We have to ask for what we need - I didn't and no-one said to me that they noticed that there was a change in my language and that maybe I could check it out. Friends please be our friends...

I would also like to invite you to send in your experiences which will help us know better what works and how to modify the treatment that's available. This whole subject is very new and we need feedback in order to improve and progress. Your thoughts - however unimportant they may seem to you - are really important to us. (Let Hilary, Anita and I know. If I can I would like to publish your feedback - and if you would prefer to remain anonymous, that's fine too.)

We look forward to hearing from you!

Warmly, Julie

Tonsillitis – Tale with a Twist

Tonsillitis

I remember having tonsillitis in my childhood - not that long ago and well after the discovery of penicillin (although it wasn't yet being used so freely). I went to a boarding school called Tormead in England from the tender age of ten - I had not long had my birthday. My parents didn't live anywhere close and so when I got sick, I was sent to the 'san' - a sort of mini-hospital next to Matron's room where 'the girls' lined up each day to get their aspirins and cough medicine. I would spend a week confined to my bed, tucked up warmly and only allowed to read for an hour or two a day. Of course, there was no TV.

After a few days my fever would break and slowly I would get better. After a couple of days exercising (walking outside) and helping Matron, I would return to my 'dorm'. Now of course - and with my own children - we go to the doctor on day 2, get antibiotics and send them back to school on day 3 or 4. But at what cost? And why? Is the body trying to tell us something? Why aren't we listening? By rushing our way through life, are we missing out on the very lessons growth that make life so exciting?

To top it all, last week at a seminar I think I found out the real reasons for my bouts of tonsillitis one or so weeks into the school term. Every term, regardless of the season. Let me tell you the story...

I would spend the last few days of every holiday pleading with my mother not to send me back to boarding school. When the day to go back to school rolled round I was at my wits end and nothing I said made any difference. It must have been very hard on my mother, having me cry and beg so hard. What trauma for a little girl (the DHS).

Of course I had to put on a 'brave face' at school and after a few days I settled down a bit (the resolution). In any case, if I cried the other girls would tease and bully me. When my father called the school a week into the term - he called because my mother was too upset to call herself - the Headmistress assured my father that I was 'just fine' and making friends.

I guess it was just more comfortable for the adults concerned to write off my behaviour as that of a 'precocious little monster'. I would cry at night at school for a few days, then settle. A couple of days later (healing) I would be down with tonsillitis.

This tonsillitis would happen regardless of the season - and regardless of which germs were around - sometimes several times a term, each time verified by the school doctor. Who recommended 'good nursing' from Matron, hot lemon - and that I have my tonsils removed!

Often the letters I sent home pleading with my mom to let me come home were intercepted by a junior matron whose job it was to 'correct' our mail. I wonder if the ones that got through (I would know because they weren't handed back to me to rewrite) coincided with the occasional second and third bouts I would get in my earlier terms?

By my last year at school, when I was 13, I still hated going back to school but I'd perfected a 'hard shell'. My pleas to come home fell on deaf ears - so I pretended that I hated being home and preferred to be at school. There was no point in crying. Plus I had 'discovered' my 'precocious little monster guardian angel' - that would ensure I kept my tonsils and was no longer bothered by the other girls - who knew that I would kick and scratch and fight every time they were unkind to me.

Of course, the advent of this 'new Julie' was blamed on 'teenage' and was, I sincerely believe, the reason for some stunningly poor life choices which affected several decades. Now, as an adult and having learned GNM, I realize that

a) my tonsillitis went away without any medication at all, every time. The body really is the very best healer;

b) the course of my tonsillitis followed the GNM pattern exactly (interesting);

c) if my parents and school had listened and acted on how I personally (everyone's different) perceived going away to boarding school, they could have arranged counselling for me to help me settle in - or just let me stay home. You never know, I might have been able to tame the difficult years that followed.

There is a powerful, incredibly strong connection between our physical health and our psyche.

We ignore it at our peril.

Tonsillitis, GNM style...

If we try to speak/shout/cry but no-one is listening - or if they hear our words but ignore the fear, our psyche, via the brain, tries to help us. After all, there is that part of us that I call 'the survivor' that is only concerned with our survival, there to help us in any way and at any cost... This is that part.

The upper part of our throat, including tonsils etc widens, by painless tiny ulceration, to try and allow 'more voice' out so that maybe we'll be heard. This is the active phase and is quite symptomless.

When the situation is resolved - in whatever way and often over several days - healing takes place.

All healing has to take place in a fluid environment - rather like a grazed knee that swells a bit and gets sore and inflamed and pusy under the scab. When the scab falls off, good-as-new skin is revealed underneath.

With a throat the whole 'environment' is moist so there is no need for a scab. After a few days of healing - including perhaps a fever, night sweats and bacteria to help remove the debris, the throat is as good as new.

This, in a nutshell, is the GNM version - although in reality GNM can tell even more about the situation. It's also very likely that my tonsillitis was complicated by the fact that I was alone, stuck in the san, which would have caused water retention and more swelling and a slightly 'bigger' healing phase.

If our children are sick, we can trace the history back and work out why... So that we can make sure the problem is healthily resolved and so not likely to cause more problems down the road. This applies equally well to coughs and colds, flu, pneumonia...

So very important.

Julie

Prelude to GNM – The Greatest Symphony

The Greatest Symphony

I would like to tell you about German New Medicine - which can be complicated. Why is it complicated? Well, there are thousands of different body parts and health conditions and treatments, both alternative and traditional. Imagine all these 'pieces' of the puzzle were musical notes - thousands of musical notes. And just one note was playing out of tune. Repeatedly. The resulting music would sound offkey. Grating, even. With GNM, your body of musical notes play together to form the greatest symphony. Every time.

GNM was born over thirty years ago in 1979 bt Dr Ryke Geerd Hamer who had working as a cancer specialist found that he himself had testicular cancer. This was shortly after the tragic death of his son in Dr Hamer's arms in 1978. Amidst his grieving, Dr Hamer was curious if his cancer might have been triggered by his trauma and so he started to 'uncover' and describe the Five Natural Biological Laws which form the foundation of his German New Medicine work. These laws explain the cause and development of disease and the supreme natural healing ability of the human body - proposing that every action the body takes, it does in an effort to support and assist its very survival.

Dr Hamer's work is based not only on his own experience of course. His work is based on what he saw and learned as a medical cancer specialist, at the Universities of Tübingen and Munich and in hospitals in Germany and Italy. Since that time he has encountered much personal hardship and resistance to his work from the establishment and after having to move several times, now lives in Norway. Dr Hamer's autobiography is available at the Canadian GNM website.

Accepting his proposed changes would necessitate a massive reorganization of medicine as we know it - perhaps creating chaos for doctors and hospitals. It would also cause major changes for the pharmaceutical industry that has grown like a weed in medicine’s wake. However, these same changes would also save lives and improve the quality of life for countless others and I am very proud to be Canadian, where new ideas and beliefs are possible and free-thinking is encouraged.

I will try and introduce these complex and very important new ideas slowly and in 'the right order' over the next few pages. It is very important to understand these Five Natural Biological Laws first and I will look at these in the next few pages, which may seem frustratingly slow but it really is important, I think, to do it slowly? Let this new information settle in your mind - this may be a complete reworking of everything you have grown up accepting. GNM proposes a total paradigm shift in the way we look at health and disease.

I understand that there are so many ‘alternatives’ to choose from and GNM may seem pretty unbelievable at times. Because it’s impossible to learn everything all at once - and because it’s difficult to teach everything at once - information you discover down the road may be necessary to make sense of what you learn today. Please be patient and trust that by the end of your research and study, this will make sense for you.

For myself, I do have a vested interest in your considering and mulling over what I say. I want choice in a world that is increasingly closed and controlled. Free choice is incredibly important to me and requires change. Big change. And for there to be a meaningful change for me, there needs to be widespread new knowledge and a demand for such changes from thousands. It’s personal: I need your voice to add to my own in demanding freedom and choice in healthcare.

Traditional medicine has been around for a while and we have an established hierarchy of doctors and information. In GNM there is little infrastructure as yet. We are pioneers. Somehow we have to read and understand far more we would ever need to in a traditional medical setting where we leave the details and decisions up to ‘those who know’. This is a huge responsibility for us, particularly as we will be opposed by those we still need help from. It won’t be easy. Although I see no alternative?

Trust yourself. Completely. Breathe deeply and take charge of your own body and health. Calmly find out as much as you can. And trust yourself. Your doctor or healthcare practitioner, whether they be a naturopath, chiropractor, psychologist or family doctor, all have therapies to help you - they can work with GNM, particularly if you insist on it. For liability purposes they may be unable to ‘recommend’ it but you are entitled to the healthcare you want for your body.

Read to the end of each article. Watch the free video footage on Youtube. Read what’s on the GNM website. Caroline Markolin will be adding new knowledge for us almost daily - and as she says, so far she has only translated a third of Dr Hamer’s work...

Take in this information in the order suggested. Don’t try and ‘cheat’ and skip to the end! You may well have to read some of this material over and again. Truly understanding GNM could well save your life or that of someone you love. It is very important that you learn these principles for yourself before reaching out and finding a practitioner to help you fine tune and apply these laws to your own situation. In that way I am confident yo will find the healing you crave. As I, and hundreds of others, already have and continue to do.

I have deliberately tried to keep my descriptions simple - everything is explained later in more detail. The way I like to understand is with an overview first. Eventually most questions do get answered in these texts/videos.

I knew instinctively that the answers to the problems that my family had were here. As far as I was concerned it was just commonsense and for it to be any other way made no sense to me. It took me weeks of frustration and re-learning before I was able to begin to see and understand clearly - and I'm still adjusting what I've learned and meshing it with what I already know to find practical and real solutions. German New Medicine represents a complete paradigm shift that turns conventional medical thinking on its head. I invite you to read on and see how GNM, thoroughly researched and documented, can change your life.

Read on...

What Kind of Healthcare Do You Want?

Question Everything

There is a dissatisfaction with healthcare rippling through society today. We know something is not right. New diseases and carcinogens are ‘discovered’ almost daily. Cancer is on the rise and statistically more and more of us stand to be affected by one disease or another. What on earth is happening? We badly want answers and instinctively we know they exist...

Somewhere.

We accept that we need to be more actively involved in our health. But how?

Traditional care has changed and whilst it’s getting ever more technologically advanced, there is often more procedure and less old-fashioned caring and nursing in hospitals than ever before. Advice is pouring at us from every direction and there are so many alternatives available. Occasionally there are ‘miracles’ but most often, nothing seems to work. At least, nothing works consistently and predictably. We want scientifically proven, reliable, 100% accurate and duplicatable answers. How scientifically effective is traditional medicine?

Whilst there may well be a genuine desire to help - and often there is some level of improvement - success is very hit-and-miss. Too often, miss. Alarmingly, alternative health has become one of the fastest growing big businesses and research is sadly lacking in most of it. On top of that, whilst there is a genuine need for practitioners themselves to survive financially in an industry not covered (in most cases) by health insurance, alternative health is often expensive. At the very time when, due to illness, there is least money available. We’re in a real dilemma. Newspaper headlines warn us, healthcare is in crisis. They’re right - and the answers are here: in these documents.

German New Medicine, or GNM as I will often refer to it, is different. Very different. There is a large body of research - incredibly detailed and successful research carried out by a qualified doctor using tough, modern, scientific standards. With GNM there are no expensive medications, gadgets or supplements to buy. No-one is trying to sell you anything. Generally it is a far less expensive treatment than traditional medicine. If you go to the GNM website you will notice that there are no advertisements or attempts to sell you anything: even the DVD’s are available online at Youtube for free and are offered to you - at cost - as a courtesy and an option. At every GNM seminar that I’ve been to, there are many attendees who receive completely free tuition and others who are able to attend at half-price. Money is definitely not a motivator here: the quest for knowledge, the sharing of that knowledge and the creation of 'GNM Villages' is all important.

As I build the information available about GNM you will find the occasional word highlighted in blue. If you click on that word, it will be explored in more depth. Meanwhile, I will keep this introduction brief and simple and I encourage you to read it through, uninterrupted, at least once before you start to explore. If after you read, watch and listen to all the material you have questions, I would be very happy to hear from you.

What kind of healthcare do you want for your body?

The best.

Don't be afraid to ask questions about your medication and find out how it works and why and how successfully it does what it sets out to do. How successful is the treatment or surgery that is about to be carried out on you? What are the alternatives to that medication/treatment/surgery? Make sure you get information from several different sources and check out each alternative thoroughly. Even use Google - remembering that doctors themselves find much of their information this way.

Remember, most doctors agree that you should support your body to heal from any ailment. The body has almost magical healing powers and makes most medical procedures look clumsy and very basic. The body is unimaginably advanced and deserves our respect and trust as does our instinct and psyche.

Question everything. And respect and trust yourself above all else.

Good luck, Julie

Sleep – Peaceful, Comfy, Restoring Sleep…

What do those who are unwell, people who have a chronic illness and those recovering from trauma have in common with babies?

Sleep - lots of good sleep.

Sleep is so SO important for everyone, let alone those who have a lot of cell growth/repair to do. Yet when we need deep, refreshing sleep the most, many of us suffer either from insomnia or wake up exhausted in the morning. And of course this does the opposite of supporting the immune system so that the body can heal.

Recent studies show the resting heart rate of people who sleep on most pillows and under synthetic or treated sheets with a synthetic - or even pure down - duvet or comforter is significantly higher, resulting in waking up feeling tired out.

Most pillows and bedding regulate heat badly and hurt our necks and make our bodies ache, particularly if we have arthritis or fibromyalgia. However, there is a new - and ancient - bedding available now that will not only ensure you a have a deep restful sleep for the first time in ages, it will also protect you from sleeping with pounds of dust mite faeces too. Yuk!

So what can we do to make sure we get the high quality, restful sleep we need? The human immune system is nothing short of a miracle when it comes to recovering from any kind of trauma… Providing that we support it well so that it can do its job.

You can have the best health habits in the world but if you aren't sleeping well you simply won't ever be truly healthy or feel good. Sleep restores your brain and body. It recharges your batteries, helps you sort out and solve problems, replaces vital chemicals, and gives you the energy you need to meet the new day.

When you sleep, you're giving yourself a restorative "mini-spa retreat" every night. Although not if you're in the same bed as 60% of North Americans! Millions of us don't get enough sleep. A recent National Sleep Foundation study reported that more adults than ever are experiencing occasional problems sleeping.

So, when you know that sleep is that important, why is it so tough to get what you need? There are a variety of factors that can hamper your ability to get a great night's sleep – everything from the foods you eat to the duvet on your bed. The good news is that when you take control of your sleeping environment and habits, you can help yourself drift quickly and easily into dreamland.

So, how can you set yourself up for a better night's sleep?

If you are having sleep problems, whether you are not able to fall asleep, wake up too often, don't feel well-rested when you wake up in the morning, or simply want to improve the quality and quantity of your sleep, there are many things you can do, including:

•   Go to bed around the same time each night, ideally around 10 PM.
•   Avoid snacking just before bedtime, particularly grains and sugars.
•   Keep the temperature in your bedroom no higher than 70 degrees F (ideally between 60-68 degrees F.
•   Eat a high-protein snack several hours before bed. This can provide the amino acid L-tryptophan, a precursor to melatonin and serotonin.
•   Avoid caffeine as much as possible, especially in the PM.
•   Make sure you exercise regularly, but not near bedtime.

However, as we suggested above, there's another simple thing you can do that will set you up for sweet sleep: change your bedding. The types of sheets, pillows and duvet on your bed can make a significant difference in how well you sleep.

But, not just any new bedding will do!

That's because the secrets to great sleep lie between your sheets - and it's not you!

The Truth about Your Comforters and Pillows

It makes sense that your bedding would have a big impact on how you sleep, right? Obviously what you choose to lay your head upon or cover your body with makes a real difference in how well you'll snooze. But emerging sleep research is revealing that it's not just thread count or how squishy that comforter or pillow is that makes the real difference in your sleep quality.

Recent scientific studies indicate that your choice of bedding can actually help you sleep longer and more comfortably.

For example, certain types of bedding have actually been shown to increase the length of your REM, or Rapid Eye Movement, sleep. And as you may know, REM sleep is the most beneficial phase of your sleep cycle. This is where your body is most relaxed, where dreaming happens, and the main restorative benefits of sleep take place. This means you can now select bedding that is scientifically proven to help you sleep better.

Hot or Cold? The correct bedroom temperature makes a big difference too...

The ideal room temperature for the most effective sleep is generally agreed to be between 64-68 degrees Fahrenheit. Get much colder or hotter and your sleep will be impaired. As for your body, it's constantly regulating your temperature to keep you comfortable. When your body has to work hard to keep you warm or cool (through perspiration) while you sleep, you gain less restorative benefits of sleep. When the room temperature is ideal, your body has to do very little to keep you at the optimal sleeping temperature.

However, if the room temperature is above 70 degrees, for example, your body needs to work hard to cool you down (through perspiration). Even though you might not be awake, this "cooling down" takes effort. And, that effort steals away some of the energy you need to get the most from your sleep cycle. So, as you can imagine, your room temperature and the bedding you choose will have a dramatic effect on your body's temperature and thus the quality and quantity of the sleep of you get every night.

This is why keeping your room temperature at between 64-68 degrees Fahrenheit AND reducing the amount of "thermal stress" on your body by selecting the appropriate bedding is so important if you want to get a great night's sleep.

But, before you rush out to buy new comforters and pillows, it's important for you to know that… All bedding is NOT created equal - synthetics and some natural substances pose a problem.

Although bedding made and filled with synthetic materials such as polyester are some of the most readily available and inexpensive, I do not recommend them. Most synthetics fail to help your body in temperature regulation. For example, studies show polyester simply gets too hot to keep you within the comfortable range for peaceful sleep.

And synthetics can also pose a real health risk to you and your family.

Many popular manmade fabrics used in making sheets, comforter covers and pillow cases either were made of and/or contain harsh or dangerous chemicals. For example:
•   Many sheets labeled "wrinkle free" or "no iron" contain per-fluorinated chemicals, or PFCs.
•   Chemicals added to bedding to make them softer, prevent shrinkage, and make them fire retardant can emit formaldehyde gas.
•   The polyester stuffing found in many pillows and comforters is made from polyethylene terephthalate (PET), which is essentially plastic … and therefore presents its own slew of potential health issues, especially as it deteriorates over time.
•   Many fabrics include other volatile organic compounds (VOCs) and dioxin-producing bleach.

As you can see, using synthetics for your bedding comes with real risks. But, before you go searching for so-called "all-natural" bedding, like that made with goose or duck down, there's something else important you need to know…

Get the lowdown on down before you buy...

For decades, down bedding has traditionally been thought to provide superior comfort and health benefits. And, whereas, there are real benefits to using down over certain synthetics, there are real shortcomings, too.
When you get the real lowdown on down, you'll begin to see it's not always what it seems. For example:
•   Because down doesn't insulate or breathe, it cannot regulate your body temperature … as a result, many people sweat under a down comforter.
•   In a controlled study, subjects sleeping in a 64 degree Fahrenheit room reported that down tested outside of the comfortable range for optimal sleep. And, as you learned above, this "thermal stress" causes you to expend energy rather than restore it.
•   Down creates "microclimates" – so where you may be perfectly warm under one section of a down comforter, you may be roasting in another.
•   Again, these microclimates cause your body to work hard to keep your body comfortable. Waking up with your head on a sweaty pillow or experiencing that clammy feeling under the comforter is never enjoyable.
•   Plus, down is extremely flammable. The only way to reduce this flammability is through potentially harmful chemical saturation of the feathers. As with synthetics, these chemicals can present real problems.
•   And, of course, in addition to the fire-retardant chemicals, many other chemicals are regularly used in the processing and cleaning of feathers … each with their own possible health risks, especially for people with asthma or any air sensitivities and allergies.

And if that news isn't bad enough…

Down makes a great home for millions of dirty guests: Dust mites - and these are NOT your friends

Did you know that the beds in nearly one in four homes contain extremely high levels of dust mite allergen? Add to that the fact that a shocking 20 million North Americans, or 10 percent of the population, are seriously affected by dust mite allergies every year, and it's easy to see we're facing a real dust mite epidemic.

Dust mites feed on the dead skin cells that your body naturally sloughs off every day. That's why your bed is one of the places dust mites thrive. Dust mite faeces and decaying bodies are responsible for our allergic reactions. Allergic reactions can range from very mild to severe. If you have existing air sensitivities, your reaction could be even more intense. When considering bedding choices, it's important to note that dust mites thrive in warm, humid conditions. Regretfully, because down dries very slowly and doesn't wick away moisture like sweat, down creates the ideal humid habitat for dust mite infestation.

When you realize that a down pillow can accumulate a pound or more of dust mite feces over two years, it becomes even more important than ever to find a real bedding solution – one that helps you get great sleep AND reduces your chance of dust mite problems.

So, if synthetics AND so-called "all natural" materials can cause a whole host of problems, what do I recommend?

Wool Is Your Best Choice

When it comes to treating yourself to the best bedding possible – and thus the best sleep experience – I fully recommend wool.
•   Wool provides the perfect four-season comfort no matter where you live. That's because wool helps the body regulate temperature naturally – it's insulating in the cold, and cool and breathable when it's warm.
•   With wool, you're assured that you'll never be too hot or too cold.
•   Wool breathes naturally. When compared to other natural fibres as well as synthetics such as polyester, you'll discover that wool offers unmatched breathability and comfort.
•   Wool is hypoallergenic, so when encased in all-natural cotton coverings, people with even the most sensitive skin, including those with fibromyalgia, can enjoy the soothing benefits.
•   Wool is a sustainable, ecologically-friendly resource. Unlike the impact of harvesting other natural bedding materials such as down, sheep continue to live long healthy, happy lives.
•   Plus, since wool is naturally flame-resistant, you can always feel safe knowing that you and your loved ones will always be safe. Even if you hold a match to wool, it will self extinguish in moments.
•   In addition, wool has an unmatched natural resilience – holding its crimp and loft longer than any other filling.
•   And, since wool regulates your body's temperature, you never sweat AND since it wicks away moisture and dries extremely quickly, it naturally doesn't provide an environment for dust mites to live in.

In recent studies, wool has been proven to outperform both synthetics and down. Dramatic results demonstrate that wool bedding such as comforters and pillows:
•   Breathes more naturally than any comparable synthetics, so you reduce the thermal stress on your body AND avoid creating a hospitable environment for dust mites…
•   Increases the length of your REM sleep – meaning you benefit more deeply from this vitally important stage of sleep every night…
•   Helps create the most optimal body temperature – the body gets to a comfortable sleeping temperature more quickly and stays there longer.

And, as if that isn't enough, recent studies have shown that the resting heart rate of people who sleep under wool versus those who use synthetics is 20 beats per minute less … creating a more restorative sleep experience from beginning to end.

But, before you rush to the store, you must know that not just any wool will do for your comforters and pillows…

Don't Be Fooled… All Wool Is NOT Created Equal. "Wool is wool, right?"

Wrong! Just as with any other fabric, natural or synthetic, there are good options and not-so-good options. Plus, there's a wide range of quality. Just as you discovered with down and other types of bedding, not all wool is created equal. Let me share what I've discovered with you?

To make sure you are getting all the benefits you need from your comforter and pillows, it's critical that you know exactly how the wool has been handled, treated, and processed. For starters, you'll want to find an all-natural 100% virgin wool that has not been treated with any harmful chemicals or additives.

Many wool producers use a process called carbonization to clean their wool. This process uses sulfuric acid to remove naturally-occurring vegetable matter that gets knotted up in a sheep's wool. As you can imagine, sulfuric acid can present real problems for people with skin or air sensitivities. You want to find wool that has undergone an all-natural cleaning process.

Optimally, that cleaning process would only use biodegradable soaps. Not only does choosing wool that's been naturally cleaned avoid the possible ill effects of carbonization, but it makes sure you get wool that has its natural lanolin intact. Lanolin is a natural oil found in wool that gives it its soft and supple character. Harsh treatments like carbonization and sulfuric acid strips away the wool's natural lanolin content leaving it rough and coarse.

Where can you find all-natural, handpicked 100% virgin wool that has not been treated with chemicals or additives? I've almost finished checking out the process this company uses and as soon as I can I will bring you the details as to where you can buy their products.

These pillows, duvets, infant crib bedding, toppers and pet beds are the very best quality and lovingly brought to you from Canada and New Zealand. Above all, they represent the very best value available anywhere. In the meantime:
⁃   Find the best grade of wool for your pillows and comforters. With three main grades of wool – fine, coarse, and medium – it's important you make sure you choose a medium grade for your bedding.
⁃   Fine is great for clothing and coarse is ideal for items such as rugs. But, medium grade is perfect for warmth, loft, durability and comfort.
⁃   Use all-natural cotton coverings to guarantee superior quality through and through.
⁃   Ensure that the carding process, the other manufacturing processes are human-body-friendly
⁃   Is never treated with harmful chemical processes like carbonization and sulfuric acid.

Your Body Will Thank You

When it comes to comfort, health and the highest quality sleep, it's vitally important you take the time to create a welcoming and relaxing sleep environment. To assure yourself of the best and most restorative sleep possible, do yourself a favour and choose wool. With the potential dangers of synthetics and the shortcoming of other natural materials like down, there simply is no better all-natural solution than wool.

When you experience the unmatched benefits of sleeping under a 100% handpicked virgin wool duvet and rest your head on a soft and supple wool pillow encased in all-natural cotton or bamboo, you'll finally know what a good night's sleep really feels like. From your very first night, you'll sleep soundly with the peace of mind, all season/every-day-of-the-year comfort and sensuous enjoyment that comes, simply, from wool.

Treat Yourself to Your Best Sleep Ever – Today

I cannot stress enough how important quality and quantity of sleep is to your health. Unless your sleep is perfect each and every night, now is the time to take this simple step toward your best sleep ever and the tremendous benefits it offers you. A good sleep every night will work wonders for you.

The investment is minuscule compared to the costs and hazards of fatigue from sleepless nights.

One last thought? The people who bring you this luxurious but very affordable bedding also make wool pet beds for your devoted 4-legged friends! Animals seem to have an instinct about what's good for them and they will make a beeline for these bed - mine did!

Connection – a “Getting-To-Know-You-Better” survey

Connection - a great "Getting-To-Know-You-Better" survey

We are born in connection - at least to our mothers. And we die in connection - at least to ourselves if not to others. This is the opposite of what existentialism preaches? And yet, in many other personal development issues, I find myself thinking like an existentialist? Interesting! An existentialist in an NVC kind of way? Technically impossible? I love the idea - an NVC existentialist!

Back to the topic... When was the last time you felt really great?

I think connection is one of the most important needs/values/virtues (whatever terminology you want to use) that there is. And I also find NVC to hold some of the most important ideas and statements in existence when it comes to connection - relationships - with yourself and with others. NVC is a most powerful way to beat depression.

Read on... Human beings are 'pack animals' - much as we may like to think of ourselves differently?! In other words we are community minded, whether that community is of one (one best friend or partner) or of many. Our journey through life is much more wonderful when there is at least one other person to witness it: to love us and to give us feedback on our actions and thoughts.

The trick for peace of mind and a feeling of fullness and contentment is to be really well connected to yourself. Then - and only then - can you know what to ask for from others, that it would help you to enjoy life more?

Each of us has to take responsibility for ourselves and tell others what we want. And how to treat us. How else can others - even someone who loves us with all their heart - know what we want?

It seems that some of us get the idea that no-one is really interested in our opinion? And that feeling often persists into adulthood: a lonely feeling that 'no-one else cares or wants to hear what we have to say'.

In order to be accepted, these people decide that they need to conform their thoughts and ideas to what they think others want to hear. Or conform to that which seems to get the response they desire. They lose track of themselves. What they really think and want. Rarely do they ask for feedback on their thoughts and actions - in fear that others may not like what they say or do? Often, they are so caught up worrying about what to say and what to do next that the furthest thing from their minds is to ask for their friend's thoughts.

Very sadly, these people start to feel worthless. Disconnected. Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness may follow.

Here is one nice way to connect back with yourself - when did you last think about what kind of footwear - or anything - you like? And connect with those you care about. Let them know you're interested in what makes them tick.

Welcome to the 2011 edition of an email survey I received recently from a friend! What a simple but good way to 'connect', especially on a Sunday! Cut and paste the questions from this web page, change the answers so they are yours (not mine!) and then send this to your friends. Once it's in email form, your friends can just click on 'forward', change the answers to their own and send send this email on to their own friends.

Email like this is a good way of increasing connection. I also found it a useful way of 'testing' the list of friends I have, to check which ones actually care about me and my thoughts. After all, a friend who is self-absorbed and who doesn't really care to know what makes you tick may not be the kind of friend who you would choose to bear witness to your life?

Here's the Getting-To-Know-You-Better survey…

1. Do you prefer high heels or boots?   high heels (dreaming!)
2. What time did you get up this morning? 10:00am
3. Do you prefer diamonds or pearls? Pearls (but I like both)
4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? King's speech - great movie
5. What is your favourite Show? 24
6. What do you usually have for Breakfast? banana and fresh juice
7. What is your middle name or nickname? Elizabeth
8. What food do you dislike? Spam
9. What is your favourite CD at the moment? Big Bands and Norah Jones
10. What characteristic do you despise? injustice, meanness and discrimination
11. Favourite Clothing? velour stretchy pants
12. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? Belize or Costa Rica
13. Are you an organized person? no - but I would love to be
14. Where would you like to retire? In a house by the sea where all my family (and clients) could holiday
15. What was your most recent memorable birthday? One of my sons was born on my 24th birthday
16. What are you going to do when you finish this? get the towels out of the drier and make supper!!
17. Furthest place you are sending this? Gomera in Spain
18. Person you expect to send it back first? mom? Or my friend Gilly
19. When is your birthday? June 26 - cancerian
20. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night
21. What is your shoe size? 9
22. Do you own any animals? 1 sweet and timid little dog, Oreo
23. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I will have my 4 sons and 7 grandkids all here at the same time - I also love to dance!
24. What did you want to be when you were growing up? a flying doctor (and significant!)
25. What is your favourite flower? Sweetpea - and Rose
26. Which day on the calendar are you looking forward to? every day
27. What was the last thing you ate? cheese roll, cup of tea and avocado
28. Do you wish upon stars? yes
29. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? dusky pink (this colour)
30. How is the weather right now? trying to be nice
31. Last person you spoke to on the phone? my ex mother in law
32. Favourite soft drink? Coconut water and Ribena
33. Favourite restaurant? Vista 18 with live jazz
34. What is your favourite colour? denim blue/mauve
36. Summer or winter? Summer - the beach and the ocean
37. Chocolate or vanilla? - vanilla
38. Coffee or tea? Tea with milk and honey
39. Favourite food of all time?  creme caramel, roast lamb - any FOOD! (and lemon meringue and blackberry pies)
40. Do you want your friends to email you back? Yes, please
41. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday
42. What is under your bed? Dust bunnies
43. What did you do last night? danced until late
44. What are you afraid of? being alone and my family not visiting me when I'm old
45. Salty or sweet? depends on my mood
46. Best quality you have?  seeing the best in others
47. How many years at your current job? 12
48. Favourite day of the week? I like them all
49. Positive or negative? Depends on what? Negatively ionized water and food. Positive frame of mind
50. How many people will you send this to? Not sure - 6 maybe
51. How many will respond? Hopefully at least ONE!

GAD or Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder – do you know the difference?

GAD or Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder - do you know the difference? Anxiety - Common psychological symptoms of anxiety include irritability, intense fear, worry, difficulty concentrating, and a general "keyed up" feeling - often for the smallest reason that can almost always be found.

Generalized anxiety disorder or GAD sufferers usually experience ongoing worry or fear that isn't related to a particular event or situation. This anxiety is often focused on daily matters such as job responsibilities and health or somewhat trivial concerns like chores and appointments.

Symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder include physical tension, fast heartbeat, irritability, insomnia, and difficulty concentrating. People with generalized anxiety disorder often feel helpless and unable to control their anxiety, which can potentially interfere with daily functioning.

Panic disorder is characterized by repeated periods of extreme panic, called panic attacks, which typically last for between five to 30 minutes. During a panic attack, a person feels suddenly overwhelmed and terrified and experiences physical symptoms such as shortness of breath, dizziness, nausea, sweating, shaking, rapid heartbeat, and a sense of being in an unreal setting or disconnected from reality.

Because panic attack symptoms are so severe, many people with panic disorder believe they are having a heart attack or dying. Anticipatory fear of having a panic attack can lead people to avoid going out in public.

What to do. Although generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder have separate and distinct symptoms, both can be effectively treated with psychotherapy and medication -- either alone or in combination. Treatment often provides significant relief from symptoms for both conditions.

Just knowing exactly what it is that's causing such horrible symptoms is a great first step. There's nothing more terrifying than experiencing some of these symptoms and worrying that it's your heart. Knowledge is always power!

Good psychotherapy will include finding out exactly what's behind these problems, exploring clients' needs and helping them to address them. When the brain understands exactly what's triggering certain behaviour it's not so likely to be able to 'get away' with it, unnoticed... NVC is always a great foundation and could then be followed with Focusing Oriented Therapy, EMDR (Rapid Eye Movement) and CBT (Cognitive Behavioural).

Occasionally a brain injury or other traumatic event - often emotional rather than physical - will bring on such symptoms. If that's the case for you - or for someone you know - please check out ReBuildingYou or forward them the url for this page. There are lots of unique articles there to read - and some useful practical tips.

Golden Rules for Finding Your Life Partner

Recently I was sent these 'golden rules for finding your life partner' which was written by Dov Heller MA and which struck me as being quite valuable. Now, I do believe that the Imago style of relationship therapy can grow a love relationship into a sustainable marriage - and I've seen it myself over and over. However falling in love obviously does not apply to arranged marriages - which can be very happy? There may well be another viewpoint to consider - as Sydney Crawford (my first mentor) used to say: there are many ways to skin a cat?!?! Here's a photo of me with my first love, Graham - we were about 3 1/2! We both look so serious!

"When it comes to making the incredibly important decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr/Ms Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love". I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. (well, perhaps not solely on love... )

Though this may sound "not politically correct" there's a profound truth here. (Perhaps) love is not the best basis for getting married? Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Trust it. Said another way: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone". You need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION 1: Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage:

(1) You can grow together, or
(2) You can grow apart.

The divorce rate suggests that 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line! Marry someone who wants the same thing. Work together for those joint goals.

QUESTION 2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person? And do they receive/reflect them? Rather than ignore them (so you never feel heard) or "yes but" them.

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - ie trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION 3: Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do right ". So ask your significant other what do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world:

(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth, and

(2) People who are dedicated to seeking selfish comfort.

Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. (And doing the right thing is often not comfortable... )You need to know the answer to that question before walking down the aisle. (Marshall Rosenberg has developed a language which is the Cadillac of communication and which, used properly, can transform most relationships...)

QUESTION 4: How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is (kindness and) the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following:

How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.
How do they treat their parents and siblings?

Do they show gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION 5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse". If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; so be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another perspective...

There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance...

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention... Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye". Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, pity, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter them.

You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life" you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

Qualities That Keep a Relationship Strong:

Respect

Trust
Communication
Kindness

Friendship

Intimacy
A sense of humor
Sharing tasks
Some getaway time without business or the children
Daily exchanges (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes)
Sharing common goals and interests
Giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure
Giving each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain replace it.

Feel free to add qualities and values to the 'relationship ingredients' above! I would love to hear from you.- click here.

Insomnia? I’m so excited I can’t sleep!

High levels of anxiety and 'mind racing' is common whenever you are particularly stressed or there is a problem happening for you that your mind can't leave alone. Like a romantic breakup - or new meeting! Or divorce. This can lead to insomnia (very easily...).

Obviously, if your mind is racing and you are experiencing anxiety, it’s difficult to slow your mind enough to relax and go to sleep. Many people suffer from this daily, but they don’t have to. Learn a very simple deep-breathing/meditation - the simple and very easy 'Triome' exercise here works well.

Let’s be honest. In today’s society of instant gratification, get it done now and it can’t wait until tomorrow, it’s no wonder people have trouble sleeping.

When you think of insomnia, you think that it’s just not being able to fall asleep. In actuality, it’s much more than that. Your everyday activities are in direct relation to the quality of sleep you get each night.

You lay in bed, hoping to fall asleep. Counting sheep doesn’t work. You just can’t stop thinking about all the things on your to do lists. And it seems the harder you try to fall asleep, the longer you stay awake. Then you try turning on the television, thinking that will help. You toss and turn all night or wake at 1am and can’t go back to sleep. Some people even think that having a few cocktails before bed will help them sleep, when in actuality, alcohol disturbs your sleep pattern.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? Don’t feel alone. There have been points in my life - including right now! - that I have had trouble falling asleep. Times of 'change' emotionally when your mind needs to debrief what's going on and goes into overdrive to try and ensure you take/took the best action (for you). Therefore, I can relate and understand how frustrating it can be. You may even dread going to bed because you know what you are in for. You want to throw the alarm clock across the room because it’s waking you up when you feel like you just got to sleep. You feel like you are missing out on life because you feel like a walking zombie.

In other articles, we’ve talked about sleep being the time that your body regenerates and heals itself. If you aren’t sleeping, your body is suffering in more ways than one. It is imperative that you get 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night. Your body will not only thank you, your mind will as well.

We all know there are medications your doctor can prescribe to help you sleep. But have you thought about what the medication is doing to your body? Have you heard the horror stories of people taking medication and finding out they have actually gotten up out of bed and left their home in the middle of the night? That’s a very scary thought. And that doesn’t include what it could be doing to your body that you don’t see. Lawyers are making huge amounts of money by suing pharmaceutical companies on behalf of clients that have taken medication and experienced awful side effects.

Insomnia and the anxiety and mind racing that comes with it really doesn’t have to require medication to cure. There are many natural alternatives that are much healthier for you. Journaling each night before you go to bed is a great start because it’s like you are releasing all your cares for the day. Learning to relax is imperative.

Check out my articles about meditation and simple breathing exercises that can help you cope with whatever it is that your mind is struggling with at the moment. Which reminds me (at 6am?!) I must re-read the Triome article myself and take an early morning walk on the beach and do some deep breathing of my own!

Here is the basic Triome (from Martin Guay of Healing Revealed)

Here’s a very easy breathing relaxation technique that will help you to relax in just 2 minutes. In Quebec we call it the Triôme!

Breathe in through the mouth and breathe out by the mouth also, 3 times slowly.
Breathe in through the mouth and breathe out through the nose 3 times slowly.
Breathe in through the nose and breathe out through the nose 3 times slowly.

Now breathe naturally and return your attention to your breathing. Preferably through the nose, but not necessarily. Do not attempt to control your breath. Become aware of the sensation of the breath as it enters and leaves the nostrils.

You can do this as long as you want - again 10 minutes is fine or up to 20 min is even better. The choice is always yours!

I often do this in bed to help me fall asleep (Martin!) I agree - it usually helps - if I'm in a really 'stimulated' phase though I have to do it to get off to sleep and each time I wake up?! Julie

Happy breathing!
Julie

Kids Are Worth It!

I really like this Kids Are Worth It parenting book (and audio) by Barbara Coloroso because it is full of such sound common sense. One of the hardest things to do in parenting is being consistent - and Barbara agrees. Start practicing your 'parenting skills' while you're children are a as young as possible - a rebellious teenager is much tougher to deal with.

Barbara's philosophy fits perfectly with the psychosocial development that you will find in Imago-style therapy and goes hand in hand with NVC and leads to confident contented kids. Together they can transform a dysfunctional home into a calm one - your whole family will thank you for creating a satisfying family life.

NVC alone offers great insight into your child's behavior - however, I like the no-nonsense approach of Kids Are Worth It and more often than not, the whole family benefits from Barbara Coloroso. If you read the book and want ideas on how to start applying what you've read to your own family, please feel welcome to email me.

Good luck!

Julie

Imago Relationship Therapy

Imago therapy is said to be nearly 80% successful - whereas regular marriage counselling is just over a measly 25% successful. A big difference...

My favorite Imago book is by Wade Luquet - until my own is written! I really like the clear way that he explains how he uses the work. I believe that if the brain/mind can really understand what's happening then the changes we want will start to happen. And this is a great way to explain.

Wade's book starts with an ancient Greek story and touches on some of the most cutting edge mind/body theories of the day. This is an excellent way - along with NVC - to start to heal you relationships and build the strongest family you could dream of.

All Posts

SOTA Blood Purifier, Silver Pulser Zapper

Adult Speech Therapy Book

Here is the basic Triome (from Martin Guay of Healing Revealed)

Recent Articles